Ferrets attack more people than grizzly bears

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Here's a tip on how to survive a ferret encounter. First of all, contrary to what most naturalists will say, a ferret only attacks things that are bigger than it. The first rule is to get as small as possible, preferably in the fetal position so as to leave no extremities available for consumption. The second thing is that when they are about to attack, they do a war dance. This dance looks like a series of half flips in the air. Thus the second rule is if you see this dance... RUN! If you're in the fetal position, start crying and sucking your thumb.

The last rule is: Make sure you have a healthy supply of blood. Ferret attacks release a huge amount of blood from the body so spares are necessary. Good luck, and Godspeed.

~Dooj